Day 18

Nearly midnight and I still have energy! No drugs either, just a natural feeling of alertness and a sharpness with a positive "background". God has taken the anxiousness out of my daily life/routine and filled it with this ?calmness? Or could it be that one word I have always desired but never really ever followed through long enough to be able to claim by myself.......Serenity. At peace with oneself AND at Peace with The Father is my understanding of True Serenity.

Sadly, like me in a lot of ways, got saved and Filled with the Holy Spirit right away! Then, due to lack of wisdom at age 24, I did not seek or find my "calling" at that time. I was so sure I was to "pastor" that just that thought deflected or blinded me from The True Prize, Him. I had passion and fire but I did NOT seek Him first. Therefore I wondered for many years BUT He still Poured out Blessing upon Blessings to me. He gave me Grace and Mercy when I did not deserve nothing but maybe a van down by the river. Even though I turned away from Him, He Stayed True to His Calling for and to me. You hear, "God never gives up on you". Well that was just it for me, I "heard" but I haven't been "listening". The Holy Spirit can and will sustain me and all IF we let go of "free will" and carefully Listen for Him.

If I am Listening carefully to what I sense the Holy Spirit is saying to me, then I HAVE to be prepared and ready for Whatever He Wants. . .This is why I could have never been able to move forward when I was earlier saved in my life. I HAD to learn more from the world. I had to accept and trust that His yoke was lighter than the one that anchored me for so long. Mine like so many people in this world feels like this! "I can't go on"! "This just ain't worth it"! Sadly, life changing choices are made in these moments. I too relate. Sins that can't be forgiven, or so I thought. 40 years! 40 years did I have to wonder lost, running from myself and worst, My Heavenly Father! I missed it, or so I first thought. He has shown me all reasons and answers to all those 40 years. Not only is He directing my future today but He went back and cleaned up all the "dead bodies" I left behind! He took my sinful nature and made it Good. How? I had to live 40 years (kinda surprised I made it really) to have a testimony.

Because of my mortal life on earth and all my sins, God Will Have MORE of His Children Enter the Gates of Heavenly Glory! No joke! This "Calling" I am preparing for in my heart WILL BE transforming not only for me but many close to me now and many soon. May my light be bright enough to allow others, my Brothers and Sisters in Jesus, to see the Way. If anyone ever wanted to know "how to be salt/light for Him" is done, share your story! We all live by example whether we want to admit or not. If I have any credibility with my fellow man may they take encouragement from me. The Holy Spirit will be present when I give testimony that ONLY Glorifies The King of Kings and Lord of Lords! Like in the early Church, The Holy Spirit is about to Awaking His dormant Elite!

With all that I am, and He that knocked so long at my door, wants me to sound the alarm and gather my Brothers! Brothers who truly desire to fulfill that spiritual emptiness that runs through every man. That longing in your heart that can ONLY come from being In The Father! Brothers, The King is Calling YOU! Your place is at His Table where His Knights can ONLY Enter and Council with The King of Kings and Lord of Lords. What I say is Biblical. (Again if any untruths come out of me may God convict me quickly, and be corrected.) He promises His Faithful People The Keys of Heaven AND Reign with Him! This IS what I believe to True.


I am sure I have mentioned this before about the feeling of poring on to others The Holy Spirit. Today again was like that. My perception of everyday life as changed so that He makes it happen. I mean, if I am seeking God's Heart, it would make sense then I would look at my brothers and sisters with His eyes. I know how I look at my own children. Can I really look upon ALL people, His Children, like I do my sons and daughters? That love is pretty deep. God Loves us, ALL of US, more than I can ever humanly love my beautiful offspring of my own flesh. I can't get my mind around that! But lately when I find myself open, really open to my fellow man, He has shown me their real beauty. This is when I feel The Holy Spirit really come sparking out of and wanting to ?Bless?Heal?Encourage?Lead? my fellow man. However whatever that looks like, it don't matter. Just happens for His reasons.

-May Your Holy Spirit Fill the ones you are about to Awake! May Your Spirit come out of me and do whatever You have me to. God, give all my Brothers who will soon answer Your Call, the Courage that Only You Can Give. My manly courage is not enough, I need Yours! We all do in order to raise Your Banner High! -Amen